Most of the time I’m running and I can feel my heart palpitating slapping at the cage of calcium and marrow surrounding it, anxious to get out but why I cannot ever know or say. I can feel my legs gelatinous and desperate swishing under me like weights being flung forward by blind ambition and terror. Its not clear if I’m running to or away, only running and with such fever and hopeless passion.

I want the whole world to see me through a blind man’s eyes, and I scream at the bottom of my lungs as I quietly listen to my life roar past, reminding me that I’m growing closer to something I don’t understand nor care to.

Waves of frustration surround me as I question the catastrophe and wreckage that will be brought by every word that passes through my lips and spills through the keyboard. I’m too hopeless to care, but tomorrow’s disappoints will point out yesterdays mistakes.

But what can be done about it now? This I don’t know, this is what haunts me tonight.